Evan from Heaven

Recently at work we hired a couple new maintenance guys, and one of them told me a story that knocked my socks off.  I had been asking him about himself for a little while trying to get to know him.  The standard stuff really: If he had family, where he was from, and what he did to fill his time when he was not at work.  At first  he answered with the usual safe answers.  You know what I mean, names without details.  Facts without relationship.

After a while I asked him an open ended question about his boys.  Just to tell me about them, then I shut my trap and listened.  He started with the oldest, then the middle one, and when he got to the youngest, Evan, apparently he realized I really did intend to listen to him.  (Old adage at work from youth ministry, If you care about me, you'll listen to me.)  He told me about why he and his wife call their son Evan from Heaven.

To shorten the story a little, the boy was born with a problem with his spine that needed surgery while he was very young.  The doctors recognized it as a common enough procedure that there was little concern and sent them to a very well known and reputable children's hospital where the operation was done.  Unfortunately the surgeon made a mistake.  He severed some critical nerves in the upper spine, and suddenly instead of a simple surgery the ruling was that he would never walk.  The family was crushed, but refused to quit.  With a whole lot of prayer and hard work, they were determined to love Evan, and give him the fullest life focused on the things he can do.

To date, Evan's spinal column has slowly and miraculously regrown around the severed nerves, and reconnected itself to the rest of his body.  He walks farther every day.

I don't know which I consider the greater miracle, the healing, or the fact that never during the telling did my new friend show any bitterness or resentment.  I do know this: In a broken world, God brings healing of all kinds.

Jeremiah 33:6

New International Version (NIV)

 ⁶ “‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.

Humility

A recent blog post on humility really got my attention.  One phrase in particular stated about the subject, "For the wise person, criticism, even untrue, will bring incredible growth."


This is hard for me.  Humility isn't easy to begin with, as anyone who has tried to live it has probably learned.  Personally it's easy to get so caught up in the part of me that rails inside when someone judges me based on an assumption.  I get so caught up on thinking, "But it isn't like that, they are wrong," that I miss out on the opportunity to grow anyway.  If someone has made an assumption, there is probably a reason of some kind.  Therefore there is something I can gain growth from.  I just need to focus on how I can grow from it.  


If you want to check out the post I read, go here.  


God bless.

The dad I want to be

He's here!  

This is Corbin.  

He's 9 pounds even, and just over 21 inches long, and absolutely perfect.  Yes I'm biased and if you don't like it, deal with it.  I'm proud of my son, and have already put a bunch of pictures up on Facebook.  I'm trying to stay aware enough to keep from becoming that parent that practically smacks strangers over the head with pictures of his kid.  It's kind of hard to do, but so far I'm managing.

Anyway, all this means it's been about a month since I posted, and I like to think that I have a good reason.  I never realized that the closer a delivery date gets, the busier life gets for dad.  Obviously Jen has been less and less able to do things for herself when she is 9 months pregnant.  And it comes as no surprise that this means dad needs to spend a bit more time helping out around the house.  So I have been running hard, and still am.  I did however see this video and thought I should share it.  This is the kind of thing I want to do with my son. Tomorrow works if my wife will let me.

Awesomely done.  Whoever you are, props for the original idea, and double props for doing it with your son.

Ephesians 6:4

The Message (MSG)

⁴Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.

Reflection: Do you remember being 19?

Let me tell you about a guy who works for me.  We'll call him John.  John makes me feel old.  (I'm only 30 this year, but I had the stark realization today that high school was longer ago than I want to think about)  Anyway, John is about to go to the army, and smart as a whip.  I mean really smart. He's not going to be your average soldier; he's been accepted to train to remote pilot the Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAV's) that are so critical to our missions in Afghanistan right now.  Just to  be considered for this job a person has to perform in the top 3% on the ASVAB, which is the military's version of the SAT.  The kid didn't even study and he did so well they asked him to apply for this job.  If he wanted he could go to Harvard.

But what makes me feel old when I see John isn't how smart he is.  It's how he is so supremely confident in whatever he does.  He has the confidence of someone who has never found his limit.  He has never had to admit to himself that he was overcome by anything.  He is 19, and he's never been beaten.

Were we all like that at 19?  I know I was.  I remember how it felt, and it felt pretty good.  I was convinced that I was going to go out into the world and change it because Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." But there was a problem: In my head and heart I put the emphasis on the first 5 words instead of the last 5. When you look at it that way, you are the focus, not God.  Read the verse carefully, and you'll see what I mean.  I had a plan, and I was going to do it, and nothing was going to distract me from it, and God had better get on board with it cuz I'm ready to go...

So God showed me how small I am.  He gave me some stuff I couldn't handle. I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say for years God tried to get my attention focused on the right thing.  He used everything to try and humble me including illness, injury, betrayal, and roadblocks.  Life got really tough.  He didn't allow these things to happen in order to be mean, but rather to get me focused on him. He wants my focus to be on the last half of Philippians 4:13.  I believe he wants us all to give up our own plans for us, and accept his plan for us.   It isn't about you or me and our plans for life.  It's about his plan, which will take us places we would never go because those places will be uncomfortable, and dark, and difficult.  He will guide us through tough times because tough times are where we truly grow.  Also, coincidentally, those dark difficult places are where his light is most needed.  So don't be afraid of the dark.  Just be humble and trust God to have a better plan than you have, or be humbled by God.  It's your choice, but one thing is for sure, in life humility will come to us all.

Proverbs 22:4 "Humility is the fear of the LORD; it's wages are riches and honor and life"

Reflection: Joe who?

Recently a friend recommended the movie "Empire Records" to me as one of his favorites. So I watched it and I have to say I really liked it.

For those who haven't seen it, its the story of a group of teenagers working at a music store in the mid 90's. The opening scene shows Lucas, who has been trusted with closing the store for the first time. He repeats "Joe's rules" (the boss) and vows to uphold them, and immediately the scene cuts to him not only breaking every rule at once, but also snooping around. He finds a proposal for the store to be bought out by a mega-chain and instantly decides to help avoid that fate by taking off to a casino with the entire night deposit planning to win enough to save the store. Naturally, it doesn't work out.

As the movie progresses we see that all of the teens are dealing with some pretty serious personal problems including drugs, sex, suicide, and shoplifting, and this is the short list of issues. And in the middle of it all, there's the store manager Joe. Despite being short $9000 he spends most of the day trying to help his workers to work, and still find a way to save the store. He does everything he can to buy time for Lucas to come clean about where the money went. He seeks out the hurting kid who has a bandage on her wrist. He wrestles another to the ground when she breaks down and becomes a danger to herself.  He stops everything to face off with an angry hurting teen he hasn't even met before. He doesn't just hold the store together, he holds these hurting kids together. Over and over Joe gives them a chance when no one else would. He believes in them, and by doing that, gets them to believe in themselves. Kids need a Joe.

It reminded me of why I first got involved with youth ministry to begin with. I want to be a Joe for kids who don't have anyone else. Someone believed in me when I needed it most, and its a big part of why I am who I am today. If I'm honest, I have to admit that it took several someones believing in me to get through to me. I'll always remember those people as the ones who noticed and cared enough to do something about the mess I was in.  It wasn't their mess, it was mine, but they helped me in all sorts of ways.

It was big stuff and little stuff.  Someone gave me rides to work when it was raining and I was too young to drive. Someone was there to talk to when my parents got divorced.  Someone told me that the 7th grade wasn't a good time to try and grow my hair out into a mullet. Someone got me tickets to a concert or two.  Someone gave me reminders about important things.  Someone told me "It's not all about you." Once someone literally dragged my brother and I to his car and raced to the store to buy some cards, flowers, and chocolates for my mom before she could get home... Did I mention this was on Mothers Day?  Also a little known fact: every few years my mom's birthday is ON Mothers Day... Sadly this fact didn't help us to remember either event.  His advice before he drove away: "Greet her at the door, yell 'Surprise,' give her these, smile big, and most importantly don't say anything about this conversation!"  It was pretty good advice.

These people believed I was worth the effort and time.  Why don't you take a moment to remember who believed in you when you didn't, and notice the difference it made.  Then figure out who you can "be a Joe" for, because sometimes knowing who believes in you is more important than knowing what you believe.  Because usually a person won't figure out what they believe, until they know someone believes in them.

Reflection: Time out!

Jen and I were able to take advantage of the holiday combined with a little bit of vacation time to get a week off.  We spend part of the week at her parents for her sister's wedding, and the rest of it at a little bed and breakfast about 45 minutes away from home.  We did nothing, and it was everything we hoped it could be.

It's been a while since we could see each other as much as we have seen each other this week.  With me on nights and working every other weekend, we just miss each other.  It was great to reconnect and remember who we are and who we want to be together.  It was so good to feel restored to relationship as we were meant to be, I wish it didn't have to end.

Unfortunately the time does have to end, but we are already planning the next event where we get to do something like this.  I can't wait!


2 Corinthians 13:11 Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice!  Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace.  And the God of love and peace will be with you.

3 and 1/2 months old

We just visited my brother today.  They are back in their house, thankfully and everyone is well.  It's funny how suddenly you turn around and the little guys seem so huge!  As I fed Erik (or was it Paul, I forget which one I had) I was amazed just how much he has grown since he was born.  I am amazed that they have changed so much in the first 3 and a half months of life.

We sat around a talked catching up up life and eating burgers cooked on the grill.  Dessert was whatever chocolate chip cookies didn't end up on the floor.  The babies got baths, and we talked about pregnant wives and plans for life.  Matt and I lit some stuff on fire.  It was good.

We need to do this more often.  Much more often.

And yes, for those of you who know us well enough to ask that question, the fire was in a fire pit that met city ordinance.