Evan from Heaven

Recently at work we hired a couple new maintenance guys, and one of them told me a story that knocked my socks off.  I had been asking him about himself for a little while trying to get to know him.  The standard stuff really: If he had family, where he was from, and what he did to fill his time when he was not at work.  At first  he answered with the usual safe answers.  You know what I mean, names without details.  Facts without relationship.

After a while I asked him an open ended question about his boys.  Just to tell me about them, then I shut my trap and listened.  He started with the oldest, then the middle one, and when he got to the youngest, Evan, apparently he realized I really did intend to listen to him.  (Old adage at work from youth ministry, If you care about me, you'll listen to me.)  He told me about why he and his wife call their son Evan from Heaven.

To shorten the story a little, the boy was born with a problem with his spine that needed surgery while he was very young.  The doctors recognized it as a common enough procedure that there was little concern and sent them to a very well known and reputable children's hospital where the operation was done.  Unfortunately the surgeon made a mistake.  He severed some critical nerves in the upper spine, and suddenly instead of a simple surgery the ruling was that he would never walk.  The family was crushed, but refused to quit.  With a whole lot of prayer and hard work, they were determined to love Evan, and give him the fullest life focused on the things he can do.

To date, Evan's spinal column has slowly and miraculously regrown around the severed nerves, and reconnected itself to the rest of his body.  He walks farther every day.

I don't know which I consider the greater miracle, the healing, or the fact that never during the telling did my new friend show any bitterness or resentment.  I do know this: In a broken world, God brings healing of all kinds.

Jeremiah 33:6

New International Version (NIV)

 ⁶ “‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.

The dad I want to be

He's here!  

This is Corbin.  

He's 9 pounds even, and just over 21 inches long, and absolutely perfect.  Yes I'm biased and if you don't like it, deal with it.  I'm proud of my son, and have already put a bunch of pictures up on Facebook.  I'm trying to stay aware enough to keep from becoming that parent that practically smacks strangers over the head with pictures of his kid.  It's kind of hard to do, but so far I'm managing.

Anyway, all this means it's been about a month since I posted, and I like to think that I have a good reason.  I never realized that the closer a delivery date gets, the busier life gets for dad.  Obviously Jen has been less and less able to do things for herself when she is 9 months pregnant.  And it comes as no surprise that this means dad needs to spend a bit more time helping out around the house.  So I have been running hard, and still am.  I did however see this video and thought I should share it.  This is the kind of thing I want to do with my son. Tomorrow works if my wife will let me.

Awesomely done.  Whoever you are, props for the original idea, and double props for doing it with your son.

Ephesians 6:4

The Message (MSG)

⁴Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.

Reflection: Do you remember being 19?

Let me tell you about a guy who works for me.  We'll call him John.  John makes me feel old.  (I'm only 30 this year, but I had the stark realization today that high school was longer ago than I want to think about)  Anyway, John is about to go to the army, and smart as a whip.  I mean really smart. He's not going to be your average soldier; he's been accepted to train to remote pilot the Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAV's) that are so critical to our missions in Afghanistan right now.  Just to  be considered for this job a person has to perform in the top 3% on the ASVAB, which is the military's version of the SAT.  The kid didn't even study and he did so well they asked him to apply for this job.  If he wanted he could go to Harvard.

But what makes me feel old when I see John isn't how smart he is.  It's how he is so supremely confident in whatever he does.  He has the confidence of someone who has never found his limit.  He has never had to admit to himself that he was overcome by anything.  He is 19, and he's never been beaten.

Were we all like that at 19?  I know I was.  I remember how it felt, and it felt pretty good.  I was convinced that I was going to go out into the world and change it because Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." But there was a problem: In my head and heart I put the emphasis on the first 5 words instead of the last 5. When you look at it that way, you are the focus, not God.  Read the verse carefully, and you'll see what I mean.  I had a plan, and I was going to do it, and nothing was going to distract me from it, and God had better get on board with it cuz I'm ready to go...

So God showed me how small I am.  He gave me some stuff I couldn't handle. I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say for years God tried to get my attention focused on the right thing.  He used everything to try and humble me including illness, injury, betrayal, and roadblocks.  Life got really tough.  He didn't allow these things to happen in order to be mean, but rather to get me focused on him. He wants my focus to be on the last half of Philippians 4:13.  I believe he wants us all to give up our own plans for us, and accept his plan for us.   It isn't about you or me and our plans for life.  It's about his plan, which will take us places we would never go because those places will be uncomfortable, and dark, and difficult.  He will guide us through tough times because tough times are where we truly grow.  Also, coincidentally, those dark difficult places are where his light is most needed.  So don't be afraid of the dark.  Just be humble and trust God to have a better plan than you have, or be humbled by God.  It's your choice, but one thing is for sure, in life humility will come to us all.

Proverbs 22:4 "Humility is the fear of the LORD; it's wages are riches and honor and life"

Reflection: Joe who?

Recently a friend recommended the movie "Empire Records" to me as one of his favorites. So I watched it and I have to say I really liked it.

For those who haven't seen it, its the story of a group of teenagers working at a music store in the mid 90's. The opening scene shows Lucas, who has been trusted with closing the store for the first time. He repeats "Joe's rules" (the boss) and vows to uphold them, and immediately the scene cuts to him not only breaking every rule at once, but also snooping around. He finds a proposal for the store to be bought out by a mega-chain and instantly decides to help avoid that fate by taking off to a casino with the entire night deposit planning to win enough to save the store. Naturally, it doesn't work out.

As the movie progresses we see that all of the teens are dealing with some pretty serious personal problems including drugs, sex, suicide, and shoplifting, and this is the short list of issues. And in the middle of it all, there's the store manager Joe. Despite being short $9000 he spends most of the day trying to help his workers to work, and still find a way to save the store. He does everything he can to buy time for Lucas to come clean about where the money went. He seeks out the hurting kid who has a bandage on her wrist. He wrestles another to the ground when she breaks down and becomes a danger to herself.  He stops everything to face off with an angry hurting teen he hasn't even met before. He doesn't just hold the store together, he holds these hurting kids together. Over and over Joe gives them a chance when no one else would. He believes in them, and by doing that, gets them to believe in themselves. Kids need a Joe.

It reminded me of why I first got involved with youth ministry to begin with. I want to be a Joe for kids who don't have anyone else. Someone believed in me when I needed it most, and its a big part of why I am who I am today. If I'm honest, I have to admit that it took several someones believing in me to get through to me. I'll always remember those people as the ones who noticed and cared enough to do something about the mess I was in.  It wasn't their mess, it was mine, but they helped me in all sorts of ways.

It was big stuff and little stuff.  Someone gave me rides to work when it was raining and I was too young to drive. Someone was there to talk to when my parents got divorced.  Someone told me that the 7th grade wasn't a good time to try and grow my hair out into a mullet. Someone got me tickets to a concert or two.  Someone gave me reminders about important things.  Someone told me "It's not all about you." Once someone literally dragged my brother and I to his car and raced to the store to buy some cards, flowers, and chocolates for my mom before she could get home... Did I mention this was on Mothers Day?  Also a little known fact: every few years my mom's birthday is ON Mothers Day... Sadly this fact didn't help us to remember either event.  His advice before he drove away: "Greet her at the door, yell 'Surprise,' give her these, smile big, and most importantly don't say anything about this conversation!"  It was pretty good advice.

These people believed I was worth the effort and time.  Why don't you take a moment to remember who believed in you when you didn't, and notice the difference it made.  Then figure out who you can "be a Joe" for, because sometimes knowing who believes in you is more important than knowing what you believe.  Because usually a person won't figure out what they believe, until they know someone believes in them.

Reflection: Time out!

Jen and I were able to take advantage of the holiday combined with a little bit of vacation time to get a week off.  We spend part of the week at her parents for her sister's wedding, and the rest of it at a little bed and breakfast about 45 minutes away from home.  We did nothing, and it was everything we hoped it could be.

It's been a while since we could see each other as much as we have seen each other this week.  With me on nights and working every other weekend, we just miss each other.  It was great to reconnect and remember who we are and who we want to be together.  It was so good to feel restored to relationship as we were meant to be, I wish it didn't have to end.

Unfortunately the time does have to end, but we are already planning the next event where we get to do something like this.  I can't wait!


2 Corinthians 13:11 Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice!  Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace.  And the God of love and peace will be with you.

3 and 1/2 months old

We just visited my brother today.  They are back in their house, thankfully and everyone is well.  It's funny how suddenly you turn around and the little guys seem so huge!  As I fed Erik (or was it Paul, I forget which one I had) I was amazed just how much he has grown since he was born.  I am amazed that they have changed so much in the first 3 and a half months of life.

We sat around a talked catching up up life and eating burgers cooked on the grill.  Dessert was whatever chocolate chip cookies didn't end up on the floor.  The babies got baths, and we talked about pregnant wives and plans for life.  Matt and I lit some stuff on fire.  It was good.

We need to do this more often.  Much more often.

And yes, for those of you who know us well enough to ask that question, the fire was in a fire pit that met city ordinance.

Reflections: Brain Scanners

OK this one is a bit different, but it was sparked by a news article I heard on the way home from work. No I wasn't listening to Mystery Science Theater or a Star Wars audio book. It was a very respectable news agency, and the topic they were reporting on was on how a technology that has been around since the 1950's is being combined with modern software for some amazing results. It's is called electrocorticography, or ECoG, and it uses electrodes placed on the surface of the brain to detect electrical signals coming from the brain itself. It's been used for decades to help determine what parts of the brain cause seizures in individuals with epilepsy.

When combined with this new software, individuals are able to open and close virtual hands with just their brain signals. Amazing as this is, the really interesting part for me was when I learned about what the brain does when we speak. You see when we go to talk, the brain sends out a set of signals that tells our mouth to move, as well as our lungs, and vocal chords etcetera. But the brain also sends out a second set of signals to a surprising place: It sends them to the ears. Essentially, you're telling yourself how the words should sound, and your brain interprets it as listening to your own voice. Now: when we simply think a word or phrase, the only brain signals sent are the auditory ones, and again you hear your own voice in your head.

Here is where my thoughts take off. How often do we think something that we don't say? I do it all the time. There are people I know that, I admit, I mentally tell off just about every time I think of them, but I never actually say those things to them, because that would be rude! Then I thought, if I am always thinking these thoughts about these people, that must be affecting how I see them. Haven't advertisers have known for decades that if something gets repeated enough times, people will start to believe it even if it isn't true? The power of suggestion is incredibly strong. For example most people believe that a cold soda will quench their thirst and won't even question the truth of the thought. But in reality a can of pop does exactly the opposite. It is scientifically proven to be a dehydrating agent. It dries you out. Yet we believe it satisfies thirst because we have heard it and seen it so many times in so many different forms that is's like being brainwashed in a small way.

So, if I'm listening to my own voice in my head, telling me over and over these, lets just say "creative and colorful descriptions" about people, it would make sense that I'm actually using the power of suggestion on myself. (It kinda trips me out that I have been doing this but haven't realized I was doing it.) When I do this over and over and over, I am brainwashing myself. I am altering my own perceptions about certain individuals when I grumble under my breath about them. This can't be honoring to God. I mean really, am I thinking of someone as God thinks of them when I mentally tell them off?

It stops me in my tracks to think how for so long I thought so much of myself because I just didn't say what I was thinking. As if I was in the right because I just kept it from coming out, but really it isn't any different. Really, I am still judging people when I do this, and in doing so I still believe that my judgement of people is right, whether there is any truth in it or not.

God, will you help me see when I am doing this, and help me to break this habit?

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.