The dad I want to be

He's here!  

This is Corbin.  

He's 9 pounds even, and just over 21 inches long, and absolutely perfect.  Yes I'm biased and if you don't like it, deal with it.  I'm proud of my son, and have already put a bunch of pictures up on Facebook.  I'm trying to stay aware enough to keep from becoming that parent that practically smacks strangers over the head with pictures of his kid.  It's kind of hard to do, but so far I'm managing.

Anyway, all this means it's been about a month since I posted, and I like to think that I have a good reason.  I never realized that the closer a delivery date gets, the busier life gets for dad.  Obviously Jen has been less and less able to do things for herself when she is 9 months pregnant.  And it comes as no surprise that this means dad needs to spend a bit more time helping out around the house.  So I have been running hard, and still am.  I did however see this video and thought I should share it.  This is the kind of thing I want to do with my son. Tomorrow works if my wife will let me.

Awesomely done.  Whoever you are, props for the original idea, and double props for doing it with your son.

Ephesians 6:4

The Message (MSG)

⁴Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.

Reflection: Do you remember being 19?

Let me tell you about a guy who works for me.  We'll call him John.  John makes me feel old.  (I'm only 30 this year, but I had the stark realization today that high school was longer ago than I want to think about)  Anyway, John is about to go to the army, and smart as a whip.  I mean really smart. He's not going to be your average soldier; he's been accepted to train to remote pilot the Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (UAV's) that are so critical to our missions in Afghanistan right now.  Just to  be considered for this job a person has to perform in the top 3% on the ASVAB, which is the military's version of the SAT.  The kid didn't even study and he did so well they asked him to apply for this job.  If he wanted he could go to Harvard.

But what makes me feel old when I see John isn't how smart he is.  It's how he is so supremely confident in whatever he does.  He has the confidence of someone who has never found his limit.  He has never had to admit to himself that he was overcome by anything.  He is 19, and he's never been beaten.

Were we all like that at 19?  I know I was.  I remember how it felt, and it felt pretty good.  I was convinced that I was going to go out into the world and change it because Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." But there was a problem: In my head and heart I put the emphasis on the first 5 words instead of the last 5. When you look at it that way, you are the focus, not God.  Read the verse carefully, and you'll see what I mean.  I had a plan, and I was going to do it, and nothing was going to distract me from it, and God had better get on board with it cuz I'm ready to go...

So God showed me how small I am.  He gave me some stuff I couldn't handle. I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say for years God tried to get my attention focused on the right thing.  He used everything to try and humble me including illness, injury, betrayal, and roadblocks.  Life got really tough.  He didn't allow these things to happen in order to be mean, but rather to get me focused on him. He wants my focus to be on the last half of Philippians 4:13.  I believe he wants us all to give up our own plans for us, and accept his plan for us.   It isn't about you or me and our plans for life.  It's about his plan, which will take us places we would never go because those places will be uncomfortable, and dark, and difficult.  He will guide us through tough times because tough times are where we truly grow.  Also, coincidentally, those dark difficult places are where his light is most needed.  So don't be afraid of the dark.  Just be humble and trust God to have a better plan than you have, or be humbled by God.  It's your choice, but one thing is for sure, in life humility will come to us all.

Proverbs 22:4 "Humility is the fear of the LORD; it's wages are riches and honor and life"

Reflection: Joe who?

Recently a friend recommended the movie "Empire Records" to me as one of his favorites. So I watched it and I have to say I really liked it.

For those who haven't seen it, its the story of a group of teenagers working at a music store in the mid 90's. The opening scene shows Lucas, who has been trusted with closing the store for the first time. He repeats "Joe's rules" (the boss) and vows to uphold them, and immediately the scene cuts to him not only breaking every rule at once, but also snooping around. He finds a proposal for the store to be bought out by a mega-chain and instantly decides to help avoid that fate by taking off to a casino with the entire night deposit planning to win enough to save the store. Naturally, it doesn't work out.

As the movie progresses we see that all of the teens are dealing with some pretty serious personal problems including drugs, sex, suicide, and shoplifting, and this is the short list of issues. And in the middle of it all, there's the store manager Joe. Despite being short $9000 he spends most of the day trying to help his workers to work, and still find a way to save the store. He does everything he can to buy time for Lucas to come clean about where the money went. He seeks out the hurting kid who has a bandage on her wrist. He wrestles another to the ground when she breaks down and becomes a danger to herself.  He stops everything to face off with an angry hurting teen he hasn't even met before. He doesn't just hold the store together, he holds these hurting kids together. Over and over Joe gives them a chance when no one else would. He believes in them, and by doing that, gets them to believe in themselves. Kids need a Joe.

It reminded me of why I first got involved with youth ministry to begin with. I want to be a Joe for kids who don't have anyone else. Someone believed in me when I needed it most, and its a big part of why I am who I am today. If I'm honest, I have to admit that it took several someones believing in me to get through to me. I'll always remember those people as the ones who noticed and cared enough to do something about the mess I was in.  It wasn't their mess, it was mine, but they helped me in all sorts of ways.

It was big stuff and little stuff.  Someone gave me rides to work when it was raining and I was too young to drive. Someone was there to talk to when my parents got divorced.  Someone told me that the 7th grade wasn't a good time to try and grow my hair out into a mullet. Someone got me tickets to a concert or two.  Someone gave me reminders about important things.  Someone told me "It's not all about you." Once someone literally dragged my brother and I to his car and raced to the store to buy some cards, flowers, and chocolates for my mom before she could get home... Did I mention this was on Mothers Day?  Also a little known fact: every few years my mom's birthday is ON Mothers Day... Sadly this fact didn't help us to remember either event.  His advice before he drove away: "Greet her at the door, yell 'Surprise,' give her these, smile big, and most importantly don't say anything about this conversation!"  It was pretty good advice.

These people believed I was worth the effort and time.  Why don't you take a moment to remember who believed in you when you didn't, and notice the difference it made.  Then figure out who you can "be a Joe" for, because sometimes knowing who believes in you is more important than knowing what you believe.  Because usually a person won't figure out what they believe, until they know someone believes in them.

Reflection: Time out!

Jen and I were able to take advantage of the holiday combined with a little bit of vacation time to get a week off.  We spend part of the week at her parents for her sister's wedding, and the rest of it at a little bed and breakfast about 45 minutes away from home.  We did nothing, and it was everything we hoped it could be.

It's been a while since we could see each other as much as we have seen each other this week.  With me on nights and working every other weekend, we just miss each other.  It was great to reconnect and remember who we are and who we want to be together.  It was so good to feel restored to relationship as we were meant to be, I wish it didn't have to end.

Unfortunately the time does have to end, but we are already planning the next event where we get to do something like this.  I can't wait!


2 Corinthians 13:11 Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice!  Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace.  And the God of love and peace will be with you.

3 and 1/2 months old

We just visited my brother today.  They are back in their house, thankfully and everyone is well.  It's funny how suddenly you turn around and the little guys seem so huge!  As I fed Erik (or was it Paul, I forget which one I had) I was amazed just how much he has grown since he was born.  I am amazed that they have changed so much in the first 3 and a half months of life.

We sat around a talked catching up up life and eating burgers cooked on the grill.  Dessert was whatever chocolate chip cookies didn't end up on the floor.  The babies got baths, and we talked about pregnant wives and plans for life.  Matt and I lit some stuff on fire.  It was good.

We need to do this more often.  Much more often.

And yes, for those of you who know us well enough to ask that question, the fire was in a fire pit that met city ordinance.

Reflections: Brain Scanners

OK this one is a bit different, but it was sparked by a news article I heard on the way home from work. No I wasn't listening to Mystery Science Theater or a Star Wars audio book. It was a very respectable news agency, and the topic they were reporting on was on how a technology that has been around since the 1950's is being combined with modern software for some amazing results. It's is called electrocorticography, or ECoG, and it uses electrodes placed on the surface of the brain to detect electrical signals coming from the brain itself. It's been used for decades to help determine what parts of the brain cause seizures in individuals with epilepsy.

When combined with this new software, individuals are able to open and close virtual hands with just their brain signals. Amazing as this is, the really interesting part for me was when I learned about what the brain does when we speak. You see when we go to talk, the brain sends out a set of signals that tells our mouth to move, as well as our lungs, and vocal chords etcetera. But the brain also sends out a second set of signals to a surprising place: It sends them to the ears. Essentially, you're telling yourself how the words should sound, and your brain interprets it as listening to your own voice. Now: when we simply think a word or phrase, the only brain signals sent are the auditory ones, and again you hear your own voice in your head.

Here is where my thoughts take off. How often do we think something that we don't say? I do it all the time. There are people I know that, I admit, I mentally tell off just about every time I think of them, but I never actually say those things to them, because that would be rude! Then I thought, if I am always thinking these thoughts about these people, that must be affecting how I see them. Haven't advertisers have known for decades that if something gets repeated enough times, people will start to believe it even if it isn't true? The power of suggestion is incredibly strong. For example most people believe that a cold soda will quench their thirst and won't even question the truth of the thought. But in reality a can of pop does exactly the opposite. It is scientifically proven to be a dehydrating agent. It dries you out. Yet we believe it satisfies thirst because we have heard it and seen it so many times in so many different forms that is's like being brainwashed in a small way.

So, if I'm listening to my own voice in my head, telling me over and over these, lets just say "creative and colorful descriptions" about people, it would make sense that I'm actually using the power of suggestion on myself. (It kinda trips me out that I have been doing this but haven't realized I was doing it.) When I do this over and over and over, I am brainwashing myself. I am altering my own perceptions about certain individuals when I grumble under my breath about them. This can't be honoring to God. I mean really, am I thinking of someone as God thinks of them when I mentally tell them off?

It stops me in my tracks to think how for so long I thought so much of myself because I just didn't say what I was thinking. As if I was in the right because I just kept it from coming out, but really it isn't any different. Really, I am still judging people when I do this, and in doing so I still believe that my judgement of people is right, whether there is any truth in it or not.

God, will you help me see when I am doing this, and help me to break this habit?

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Reflection: Easter

Recently, my pastor challenged us all to make a list of our blessings, and use that list to guide our prayers.  Here's my list.

Family

- My wife Jen is the most patient, loving, loyal, and understanding person I know.  I'm blessed by her character in my life.

- My son, Corbin Joseph, will be born in the next few months

- My family is just a phone call away, and visiting them is only a short drive

Friendship

  - Stacy is an insightful and wise friend full of integrity

- Nate is a friend and discerning leader full of integrity and purpose

Health

- I can walk freely 

- Healthcare for my wife and child through work

- My family has a dental and vision plan

Faith

- A growing journey of prayer and study

- I am living in a country where I can express my faith freely

Career

- I have a good paying, consistent job

- My job is one that stretches me to grow in skills I will need for ministry

Finances

- We make more than we need, and can give and save

Skills

- I know how to love people, particularly young people, well

- I can sing

- I am a problem solver

What's your list?

Happy Easter

John 20:1 "Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance."

Reflection: The military and me

Recently I have spent a lot of time looking at these coins.  We found them while cleaning up and moving things around in preparation for the baby.  They were given to me for doing a good job.  The top one is the coin of the school I attended, and was given to me by the Major in charge of the program along with an invitation to consider coming back next year as an instructor.  The bottom coins are from the Command Sergeant Major and commanding Major General of the 38th Infantry Division and were presented during my commissioning ceremony.  I only had to sign my contract as a Second Lieutenant.  I had started as an enlisted soldier, been in for less than a year, and was being promoted to the officer ranks. I felt pretty good, like I was making a mark on the world for the better and was doing it by being a servant leader.

Then, a very short time later, I received my injury while doing our morning exercise routine at drill weekend.  That changed everything.  I hadn't signed my new contract yet, and now couldn't.  Because of the injury, I was non-promotable until medically cleared.  Therefore my rank was reverted to my rank when I was enlisted: E-4, Specialist.  About a step up from toad.  I expected to be cleared quickly, and to be able to accept my commission during the 2 year window.  I could wait 2 years to accept my commission, but my ankle needed surgery, and ultimately it never healed fully.  I haven't been able to run since, and after 3 years of red tape and headaches, I was honorably discharged from the army.  The military has no use for a soldier that can't run.

I'm not proud of the fact that during those first two years I became bitter.  And not just with the National Guard, but at home, at church, and at my civilian job (which due to the injury was also NOT what I wanted to be doing, but that's another story).  I even became bitter towards God, and carried it with me.  I made some bad choices and nearly wrecked my life and marriage.  To make a long story short, it wasn't until I finally put God back in charge and actually accepted His guidance, wherever He would lead, instead of trying to direct the situation where I wanted (back towards a commission and a healthy Army career) that I was able to start to follow him with peace.  Since I did that in December of 2009, I have been on a journey towards spiritual health, and God is constantly teaching me things from that difficult time.  For example, it took yesterdays post from Tim Stevens to help me see that neither my bad choices nor unfortunate accidents are what define me.  I had been looking at these coins for a week and bemoaning my bad luck.  I have been moping, and my poor wife has watched with concern unable to bring me out of it.

I needed a bit of perspective, and God had used the fact that some of the heroes of the Christian faith made mistakes as a mirror on the most trying period of my life.  Those heroes (Abraham, David, Isaac, Gideon, and Samson) all had women they were not married to living in their houses for sexual purposes, and the writer of Hebrews praises them as men of faith without making any comment on their sexual sins.  The writer even tells his readers "keep the marriage bed pure" (13:4).  To me, it was a reminder that I should define myself by what God's purpose is for me.  He doesn't define me by my mistakes, and neither should I.

Hebrews 13:5 "...God has said, never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Reflections: What's in a name?

Since Jen and I are expecting in July, we have been working on a lot of little projects around the house to try to get ready.  Tonight we worked on a bookshelf of my notes.  I had all my notes from college.  All of them.  Every class.  Every internship.  Every syllabus.  All the professors handouts, and all of my personal notes.  Thinking about it, I'm amazed myself that I was so organized.  That just doesn't usually fit me at all, but there it was: the entire bookshelf.  And 95% of it was useless.  I didn't even remember the names of most of  those classes, more or less the specific content.  And there were lots of names.  so we threw a lot out.  Turns out the only things I really wanted to keep were from an internship right before college called Master's Commission, and stuff having to do with music.  None of the other names meant much to me.  They were so far removed from the actual doing of ministry or so outdated that what application they once had was as vague as the names on the outsides of the binders.  It made me think about names.  Is my name all there is to who I am?  Of course not.  There are millions of guys named Dave out there.  But what about the name God has for me?  Does he have a different name for me that makes me unique?  Like Simon who was renamed Peter, or Saul was renamed Paul, is there a defining moment yet to come in my life where a specific characteristic within me becomes the center of my being?  What power is there in a name?

At this point I started to get bogged down in philosophy, which always bothers me.  I crave practical application.  It's just part of how a do life.  So I stopped to pray.  As I was praying and thinking about this whole matter, I realized that the name I use to post this blog touches on the defining characteristic I want to be the center of my identity. Then I realized: that was a reference that most people don't get.  Probably because I never explained it, and it's shorthand in order to get the name.  Phil2158 is short for Philippians Chapter 2, verses 1-8, with an emphasis on verse 5.  (I know, clear as mud.  I'm working on it.)  Those verses specifically sum up the attitude of Jesus, and how we are expected to respond to his example.  Here they are.

¹ Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

 ⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

 ⁶ Who, being in very nature God,
   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
⁷ rather, he made himself nothing
   by taking the very nature of a servant,
   being made in human likeness.
⁸ And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself
   by becoming obedient to death—
      even death on a cross!

The realization that my intent wasn't communicated by "Phil2158" meant it was time for a name change.  This blog is by me, so the address is davejaquay.blogspot.com now.  And the title of the blog is now, as you can see, Living Philippians 2.  I think it's closer to the heart of the journey of personal growth that God is leading me down right now.  A big part of that journey is the pursuit of humble obedience to God's purpose for my life.  

Lord, please teach me humility.  And may your teaching lead me to the ministry you want me to be in.

Reflection: What I am hoping for

My last post revealed a couple things to me.  First of all, from the comments I have received, I have a lot of near and dear friends who care about me.  Thank you all for your concern.  The second thing revealed to me was that I needed to clarify a little bit regarding a few of the things  I said.  Let me tick off a few:

First of all I should have used "...yet." a lot more.  Self reflection is not a project I intended to complete in a few days.  In fact I only intend to be beginning the process during these first few weeks.  Reflection is the next season of my personal spiritual growth journey, and it is a process. Several key sentences from my last post really should have ended with a hint of how reflection is intended to impact the subject I was talking about.  This would have made my post a much more accurate description of how I am struggling to grow. Please understand I don't say "struggling to grow" as if I feel I can't grow.  I say it with the thought in mind that growing is work.  It can be hard, even exhausting, work and it always takes time to complete.  I firmly believe that God has a plan for me which he is preparing me for, and by adding the "...yet" to those key sentences the tone of the whole post changes. For example if I had been more accurate I would have said it differently:

• "I'm not very good at (reflection)...yet" 
• "I can't seem to gather enough focus to get anywhere ...yet"
• "I honestly wish I could say I made grand leaps of comprehension about how my life has gone in the last few years and where I want it to go in the next few, but I haven't ...yet.

The second thing I would like to point out is about hard times.  Right now I am wrestling with myself over who I want to become and what I want to do.  This is a hard task for me, but I do believe deep down that God will get me through.  It's just difficult for me to see his provision sometimes, which is why I am trying to use this reflection as an opportunity to step back and look at the big picture.  I want to reevaluate my purpose and plan to better align it with Gods.  This is the whole point of a period of reflection.  A point which is not communicated well when I make the mistake of writing a blog during a VERY frustrating week at work.  I have talked to some of you about it so I won't rehash it here, but suffice it to say that there are some issues and problems that keep recurring at work which force me to do a LOT more than is normal, and do it in a much harder way than would be ideal.  It has been so frustrating that I have, more than once,sent a text to my wife from work simply seeking encouragement.

What is this encouragement? That there is more to me than as I said in my last post when I said I'm ugly on the inside.  Do I mean ugly as in "I hate myself?"  No.  More as in the closer I look at God, the more I see how I fall short of perfection.  Under God's brightly lit inspection, every tiny flaw and imperfection is glaringly obvious.  And when those imperfections are compared to the truly perfect example of His son... well it's not pretty but it's necessary.  If I am going to honestly compare myself to Jesus (which is the standard God sets) it's bound to be an ugly comparison.  It doesn't take much guessing to figure out which of the two of us is going to look bad.  It also doesn't take much guessing to figure out where I have room for improvement.  Some people call the feelings that this comparison will stir up as being "convicted" of sin.  Right now, I'm feeling that, and so I want to press in to work on the parts of me that need to improve.

Lastly I am on a journey.  This process is going to take a while, and I see the need to clarify as proof that I need this reflection all the more.  If I had waited another day or two perhaps I would have been better able to communicate my journey the first time.  Perhaps I wouldn't.  It's possible that I would never have seen it at all without input from all of you.  Thanks for that input, and please, keep it coming.  It helped me to get text messages, phone calls, emails, video links, and Facebook posts.  All of it together showed me what I needed to see to take the next step in reflection.  So I am continuing to press on and seek out what I can do better to become like Christ in all I do.  I will keep being brutally honest.  I will keep listening.  I will keep reflecting.

-Dave


Philippians 3:14 "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Reflection: Not what I hoped for

So here's the short version of what I know about reflection after the last week or so.

I'm not very good at it.

The longer version is I'd like to be all high and mighty and pretend that this realization is a good thing.  You know, "Knowing is half the battle" and all.  But honestly it's just a bit disappointing.  I'm tired, I don't like my job, and I let being busy get in the way of getting a Godly perspective, more or less keeping one. I know that these are just excuses, and yet I can't seem to gather enough focus to get anywhere.  When I sit down to just remember, my mind bounces ideas around inside my A.D.D. skull like a hummingbird bounces from one flower to the next.

I honestly wish I could say I made grand leaps of comprehension about how my life has gone in the last few years and where I want it to go in the next few, but I haven't.  I know I wish I was in ministry somewhere able to direct my energy towards helping people instead of constantly focusing on how to produce more product.  I know that Life has not gone as I hoped it would in the last 4 years.  And I know that somewhere a long the way I have either lost or severely injured my desire to put others before myself.  In addition to being tired, I'm more skeptical now than ever.  I'm sarcastic, bitter, grumpy, and lack the confidence I once had that anything was possible.

To be flat out honest: I'm looking inside myself and finding that I'm an ugly guy on the inside and the task of reflection seems overwhelming as a whole.  Yet I am too dissatisfied with where I am to stay there.

So... I'm going to break it down into smaller more manageable parts and press deeper.  I am so disgusted by who I am sometimes that I nearly weep.  Yeah I'll admit it.  Call me a pansy, or a sissy.  I don't care anymore.  I know I must be brutally honest with myself in this process. I'm seeking a more real prayer life. I'm opening myself up to what I have messed up, and inviting God to look at those mistakes and me give me correction.

Pray for me to learn from his wisdom.

-Dave

Selah

It's been a long couple of weeks.  I worked a lot (12 hours a day for nine of the last eleven days) so blogging had to be postponed. It was too many hours to be honest.  It wears you out and takes away your ability to look at your life as a whole.  Don't get me wrong, there are times when you just need to work long hours on something for a while and to do so is the best thing you can do.  For example: the relief work in Japan after the earthquake is not a task that allows one to simply stop the effort and go home because it's that time of day.  However, these times must be balanced with times of reflection and intentional focus.

In Psalms the term "Selah" was often used to designate something worth thinking about.  No one actually knows what "Selah" means exactly. The general consensus is that it is either a musical term, used to mark a pause, or that it was meant to imply a break which was meant to be used to think about the weight of what was just said.  Either way the implication to me becomes clear that it's good to stop and reflect from time to time, especially before or after a period of hard work.

I feel like I need to take time to pray and reflect .  So that's what I'm going to be doing for the next several posts.  I'll be looking at the journey that God has been working on in my heart for the last several years and how I ended up where I am now.  Some of it will be stuff I have already figured out about myself, but hopefully some of it will be things I have grown in and I will be able to learn about myself and my beliefs.


Psalm 19:14
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Measuring part 2

My last post on measuring community was about practical and concrete evidence. Recently I had an opportunity to have a conversation with Bob Laurent, teaching pastor at Granger Community Church about how you measure true community. This brief talk with Bob led me to a fact that may seem easy to measure, but in actuality is not.  Here it is:

"What God touches grows."
  If we are in a truly God centered community, where His vision and purpose are central, then that community will grow in numbers, in maturity, and  in how it impacts the community around it.  It's not about numbers alone.  Strictly looking at numbers can be very mis-representative of the health of a community because there can be growth without God's touch.  What you cannot have is God's touch without growth.  Numbers are easy to count, so many churches will stop there: attendance, hands raised in commitment, size of the budget.  But how do you count maturity and community impact? How do you measure those? That was the question I had for Bob.

 Here is his answer: Sacrifice. Being willing to be vulnerable is one of the greatest sacrifices you can make.  To be willing to take off the mask you wear, and show who you really are is a huge sacrifice because it puts your very self on the table for examination.  It's personally risky because every one of us knows that it's like dying if that openness is cut down, judged, and dismissed as lacking.  And we all know we aren't perfect, so we know what we are revealing when we are vulnerable.  We know we are revealing something that is not good enough, and never will be good enough.  There's something broken in everything, including ourselves. We are broken, and admitting it to someone is risky.

 Here's what I would add to this: Christ calls us to go one step further into that sacrifice, to not only be real with each other, but to also openly confess to each other where we fall short.  And when someone confesses to you, your job is to forgive as God's representative.  There's a lot of meaning in offering this forgiveness.  For starters, we are being given the responsibility and authority of heaven with this task of forgiveness.  Jesus said when he gave his disciples the Holy Spirit in John 20:23 "If you forgive anyone's sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven."  And after he taught the Lord's prayer in Matthew 6 he immediately followed it with the words "If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."  So not only do we have the job of giving forgiveness, but we have a personal stake in doing so.  If we withhold forgiveness, God will withhold forgiveness from us.

So, if we are trying to measure a community by how well is sacrifices, here's how we do it:  look at how well that community offers forgiveness.  How gracious are we, when we are cut off while driving?  How forgiving are we when someone hurts us?  How patient are we?

Matthew 6:12  "and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us."

IT'S A BOY!!!

I am a father.

I am in awe of God's creation.  I saw his heartbeat, his eyes, nose, ears, hands, feet, fingers, toes, and even his spine, bladder and liver. We watched him poke back whenever we poked at him with the ultrasound, and twist when Jen rolled over. 

This is my son.

Psalm 139:13-14

For you created my inmost being;

 you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

 your works are wonderful,

 I know that full well.

Haste makes waste

I found this quote today in my study time.  It made an impact on me, what do you think about it?

Let us never forget that religious earnestness alone is no proof that a man is a sound Christian. Not all zeal is right–it may be a zeal without knowledge. No one is so mischievous as a blundering, ignorant zealot. Not all earnestness is trustworthy–without the leading of God’s Spirit, it may lead a man so far astray, that, like Saul, he will persecute Christ himself. Some bigots imagine they are doing God service, when they are actually fighting against His truth, and trampling on His people. Let us pray that we may have light as well as zeal.

~ J.C. Ryle

Proverbs 19:2 (NLT)  Enthusiasm without knowledge is no good; haste makes mistakes.

Building community

An important part of building any community is sacrificing the concept of managing your self image.

-Dave

The King

My wife gave me tickets for Christmas.

It was amazing to see a man so talented as BB King performing live.

I don't have the words to express how good he is, so just watch him for yourself here.

Amazing.

latest news

The boys came home from the hospital yesterday, and their mom beat them home by a couple days.  Just in time to discover that all the snow and ice we have melting in this area have melted right into the carpet of the little guys' bedroom.  And caused mold.  So they are living at my moms for now while the landlord figures out how to fix it.

Happy valentines day...

I just wish my brother and Silja could get a break.

Things are looking up

We were able to go visit Silja in the hospital yesterday.  She is doing much better. She has been moved to an intermediate care area and has been able to rest a bit.  She does not have the influenza virus as we feared.  (Pneumonia after the cesarean birth is bad enough.)  The fluid on her lungs and around her heart seems to be fairly contained.  We are going again tomorrow, and hope to be able to stay for a longer visit.

Erik and Paul continue to improve steadily.  It looks like they will be able to go home sometime near when they are 2 weeks old.

Thanks for your prayers and all the well wishes and concerns.

-Dave

Prayers needed

As you know we are thrilled about the new twins.  The boys are both doing very well.  Silja, however,  is not.  She has been moved out of the new mother's unit and into the infections disease unit.  Her pneumonia is getting worse, and her body is simply not expelling the fluids it needs to, and her lungs have more fluid in them than she can cough up.  Her parents are flying out from California right now.  She has been placed in an isolation ward and a whole different team of doctors is getting on board.

Please pray for her and Matt.

-Dave


Matthew 4:23
Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.

Knowledge vs Character

As I sit here and study and pray this morning, my thoughts keep going back to those two little boys in the NICU across town. As I pray for them to grow in wisdom and strength, I am reminded of a saying that a mentor of mine always says: "You can teach what you know, but you will reproduce who you are."  So I offer this prayer for Matt and Silja:

Lord, help my brother and sister to be Godly examples for Erik and Paul.  May they be fully present wherever they are, not being distracted by lesser things. May they follow you wholeheartedly and love well in every situation, giving Glory to you.  Bless their home and give them good health, peace, patience, and joy in abundance.  Above all give them wisdom, so that the boys will grow up seeing you in their parents.  And may that wisdom be reproduced in them.

I can't wait till the rest of the world wakes up and I can go visit the boys!

-Dave


Proverbs 4:7 (English Standard  Version)
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom,
  and whatever you get, get insight.

I'm an uncle!

My brother just came out of the delivery ward to announce the newest additions to our family.

Erik was born at 3:20 PM and weighed 4 pounds, 11 ounces.
Paul was born at 3:21 PM and weighed 4 pounds, 6 ounces.

Both boys are healthy, and in the NICU ward. Mom is doing well and in recovery.
Pictures will follow!

-Dave


Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

The first sacrifice

My wife said something profound today about the connection between community and sacrifice.

The first sacrifice was not initiated by man.

In Genesis 3 we see the fallout from the first sin. After God explains the consequences of the choices Adam and Eve had made, he stops to help them.  God killed animals, to clothe Adam and Eve better than they could clothe themselves.  Why?

He did it for them, to benefit them. To give them clothing, and make it so they could be comfortable in their proximity with God now that they were aware of where they fell short. To give man community with God despite their sin.  The first sacrifice was for mans sake, initiated by God, and meant to restore community. This reason was why sacrifice continued through out Jewish history. It changed some, becoming more symbolic, but the purpose remained the same:  To help man gain access to God and  to restore community.

So, since we obviously don't slaughter animals to gain access to God as was done in the temple of the Israelites, what kind of sacrifice do you see today, and how is it connected to community?

James 1:22
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what its says.

Measuring part 1

I have been spending a lot of time contemplating the issue of how one should define community for some time now.  I don't think I have it fully defined yet, but I think I have another piece.

Recently I have had the opportunity to talk with LeRoy King, the director of Monroe Circle Community Center (MC3), which is a hub of community transformation.  This place is literally changing the landscape, attitudes, and trends of downtown South Bend.  Since it's renovation and launch, MC3 has not only provided a food pantry to the neighborhood, but has also done home makeovers, taught job skills, and provided education programs to help individuals break the cycle of generational poverty.  They are making an impact in their community, so I took the rare opportunity to ask his thoughts on defining community.  His answer was straightforward: Look at the numbers.

He explained to me further that you have to ask questions like;
 -Did the number of violent crimes actually go down since you started doing what you're doing?
 -Are there less people getting raped in your area since you got there?
 -Has the number of people on long term unemployment declined?
 -Are the police able to spend less time on illegal narcotics because it just is less common?

He was pretty clear, check the census data in your area.  If you claim to be a community leader, you have to ask, are you making an impact?  Does the 2010 census data agree with you?  If not, I would suggest another question.  What are you willing to give up (sacrifice) today, to get where God wants you to be tomorrow?  Because God may have a bigger dream for you than you do, and you might not be able to accomplish it from where you are right now.

-Dave

Jeremian 29:11 
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

What I'm reading.

One of the books I am reading right now is "A Work of Heart" by Reggie McNeal. Here is an excerpt:

"David was honest with God. He did not pretend in his conversations with God, playing games to avoid confronting the truth about life, about his circumstances, and about himself. He felt he had nothing to hide from God; rather, he viewed his life as an open book. For this reason, David did not feel a need to sanitize his prayers. He brought to God the raw stuff of his heart, uncensored, untidied up. He was not afraid that God would be repulsed by his heart, because God, knowing his heart, still wanted communion with David."

This kind of brutal self-honesty is foreign to the culture we live in. At the same time how could we be any less honest and still seek out the presence of God? If we really believe he is God, then naturally he already knows the worst about us. Yet, as Reggie points out, he still wants to spend time in relationship with us, and not just in relationship, but in a community that includes willing sacrifice on both sides. Sacrifice that is beyond what would be dictated by the relationship. No other religion claims a relationship between man and God in which God is willing to give something up to get close to man. It is always man who must give up something he values to reach God, except for in Christianity. Only in Christianity is the God wanting to be in community with his creation so badly that he is willing to be humble.

Read about it in Philippians 2, verses 1-8.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=phil%202:1-8&version=NIV

-Dave

Psalms 25:9
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.

Loyalty

Recently my schedule has become very full.  Monday - Thursday are 12+ hour days right now, balanced by a 3 day weekend. Last weekend those three days were filled by the trip to visit friends in Ohio. As a result, my poor dogs haven't see me much. What they have seen has been a very tired and less engaged master than usual.  So when I got down on the floor yesterday to play with them, they were VERY excited.

On the left is Missy, who wanted to play fetch with whatever toy she could get me to throw.  On the right is Layla, who wanted nothing more than to stubbornly sit on my lap and watch the other dog run around like she was crazy.

It's good to know that no matter what these two will always be there and willing to pick up right where we left off.  I have very few friends as loyal and loving as these two.  Have you got any friends you know are loyal no matter what may happen?

More importantly: What are you doing to demonstrate that kind of loyalty?

-Dave

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Yes, but what does it mean?

This new years I spent much of the night talking with my good friends Nate and Stacy.  We got talking about what it means to have a vision and a purpose, and how to define success by those things. We agreed that for the church Nate is preparing to plant in Ohio, that the center of his vision is  the concept of a community.  We were particularly aware of the fact that close knit communities will often have people willing to make sacrifices for others in the community that are far above and beyond what you would normally expect from the relationship the individuals have.  For example, if your a relative's car is in the shop and needs a ride to work, you might get up early, to take them in, then come back home.  It would even be expected because of the relationship you have.  In a close church community though, you may get the same reaction from the person who normally sits next to you, but doesn't ever see you other than on Sunday. Some workplaces have this kind of dynamic, but most don't.  It's a close community that will sacrifice for one another.

We talked a lot about what it takes to build that kind of community and decided that the phrase: "Wherever you are, love well," is critical to building this kind of community.  Not only that, but someone has to model it first, to be willing to risk being ridiculed.  Someone has to be willing risk being taken advantage of.  This is quite simply, because someone must do it first.  The standard has to be set.

This led us to our next question:  How do you measure that?  How do you measure loving well?  What will we see happening around a place where people are actually loving well in every decision and every action.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that common sense take a back seat to making the people around you feel "warm fuzzies."  I am suggesting that we can choose to work hard and play hard, and still respect the people around us.  We can take a look at life and seek good times without taking away another's ability to do the same.

Can't we?

-Dave


John 13:35
"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."